


The Lion Chased the Unicorn

by imaginarycircus



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Unicorns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-19
Updated: 2011-06-19
Packaged: 2017-10-20 13:35:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/213321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginarycircus/pseuds/imaginarycircus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve is deeply suspicious of unicorns.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lion Chased the Unicorn

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gunslingaaahhh](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=gunslingaaahhh).



Danny pulled into Steve's driveway on Tuesday morning and tapped the horn. It took a full five minutes for Steve to get his ass out the door and into the car, or almost into the car. He froze when he spotted Grace's stuffed Unicorn, Fiona The Magnificent, on the passenger seat.

"Sorry," Danny grabbed the unicorn and tossed it into the back seat.

Steve stood with one leg in, gripping the car's frame with both hands, and sweating like a cold beer on a hot day.

"Danny," Steve said through gritted teeth, "what is that abomination?"

"What? Fiona?" Danny picked up the unicorn and smoothed the rainbow colored ribbons braided into her mane.

"Put it down," Steve hissed. "It's looking at me. Put it down!"

Danny might have thought Steve was having him on, except he'd pulled his gun and a knife and was apparently ready to eviscerate Fiona.

"Whoa. Steve. Calm down there, buddy. It's just a stuffed animal. It can't hurt you." Danny got out of the car, carrying the plush toy.

"That's what it wants you to think, Danny. We have to burn it." Steve crouched down like he was about to spring.

"Ho! We are not going to burn Grace's favorite stuffed animal. She'd be heartbroken. Are you having some kind of episode? Should I call an ambulance?" Danny waved Fiona back and forth as he spoke and Steve followed every dip and swerve of the beribboned unicorn.

"Danny! It's trying to look into my soul! Cover up its creepy little eyes before it has me in its thrall!"

Danny did the worst possible thing. He laughed.

"No," Steve whispered. "I won't let it get control of you, Danny." He let out a fierce battle cry and launched himself at Fiona and speared her with his KA-BAR. He ran for the beach screaming about kerosene and Danny shook his head and ran after his partner. He had no idea how he was going to explain Fiona's disappearance to Grace, but he'd never be able to tell her the truth. No one would ever believe him anyway.


End file.
